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It’s always awkward the first time you hold hands with someone because they usually want to know who you are and why you just grabbed them.
I’m not here to judge, I’m just pointing out all the mistakes you’re making.
I have a feeling my dying words will be "Honey, I was just joking."
Smile at the people who hate you. It makes them wonder what you`re up to. :)
Insanity means never having to say “I’m Guilty”.
Calm down! I`m not officially late until I actually get there.
After how long is it ok to tell your friends that they are imaginary?
I found a dollar in my bed this morning... Following my excitement was a flash of panic as I checked all my teeth
Facebook Poking Hours: Mon-Friday 7am-10pm Sat 12-11pm Sun Closed
99.9% of lol’s are lies.
The only thing Facebook has ever done for me is make me realize a lot of my friends are idiots.
I haven`t seen any new episodes of Gilligan`s Island in awhile... I hope they`re OK.
Good morning friends … Wait … what the hell m I doing up this early?
I suppose cougar is a better term than old whore.
A woman just dropped a 20 dollar bill next to me. I thought, `What would Jesus do?`, so I turned it into wine ... Well, I bought wine.