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Most of being an adult is marveling at the date and saying how fast the year is going by.
Didja ever get to know someone so well, that you wish you didn`t know them at all????
My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like I KNOW, RIGHT?
Your kid is running around the store screaming at the top of his lungs annoying everyone and I`m the a$$hole for tripping him?
I bet Jellyfish are sad that there are no Peanut Butter fish.
Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale?
Calm down ... Take a deep breath and hold it for about 30 minutes.
I know you seen me continuously push the "close doors" button while you ran to the elevator. Now it`s just awkward
At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?
You might be a REDNECK if you think S.T.O.P. means spin tires on pavement!! :)) lol
"Something`s wrong. He`s never walked this far before."- what my shoes would say if you walked a mile in them.
Firemen, Astronauts, and Doctors are the only people who actually followed through on what they wanted to be when they grew up.
Guys just want a virgin porn star and girls just want a dangerous safe guy.
One man`s LOL is another man`s WTF
I told my kids to follow their hopes and dreams, as long as their hopes and dreams lead them out of my house when they`re 18.