Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Winter needs to calm the f*ck down
I hate to sound racist, but.. all of your baby ultrasounds look the same.
After years of commercials, I still have no idea what a Go Daddy is
PRO TIP: You can use crunchy food to block out conversations of people you hate.
i don`t care if u don`t like me ........... i am not a facebook status:D
In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on
I wish there was more BitStrips and photos of giraffes on my Facebook
I live for two reasons. 1) I was born. 2) I haven`t died yet.
I wanna say something. I´m gonna put it out there. If u like it, u can take it, if you don´t, send it back. "I want to be on you"
Hope you don`t mind if I make transformer sound effects when we switch positions.
One of the things I like to say to a girl after we have sex for the first time is "Hmm, damn weird... I heard you were better."
This fly in my car is going to be very disappointed when it ends up at Walmart.
Every night before bed I do this cute little thing where I stare at the Internet for 6.5 hours
I`m not saying i hate you but if you were on fire and i had water i would drink it
Cops never say “thanks for committing crimes and keeping us employed”. It’s just plain selfish.