Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Turbo tax might just be the worst video game I ever played.
One of these days I`m going to get help for my procrastination problem.
Women are like squirrels, very cute from a distance but will fight like hell when you try to pick them up and get them in your car.
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a prescription bottle that says, "May cause extreme sexiness."
Remember to make some bad decisions today. 20 years from now that’s all you’ll have to make your kids think you’re cool.
All I’m saying is you don’t see many neck tattoos on Jeopardy.
That Awkward Moment when you’re being sarcastic and someone believes you.
Hey ladies, tired of your man complaining about how long it takes you to get ready? Start blow drying your hair in the nude. I promise no more complaints.
I`m so lonely I drive around town with a coffee cup glued to the roof of my car just so people will wave at me.
There are sick days, paid holidays, and vacation days. What about "Don`t have any gas to make it to work days"
I haven`t seen any new Bigfoot pictures in a while... I hope he`s OK.
Every time I go to the bank I ask if they are giving out any free samples.
You never truly appreciate Newton’s laws of motion until you’ve sneezed while going to the bathroom.
Is it just me, or would those movies had been far scarier if they were titled "Monday the 13th"
I bet guys that work at strip clubs are "hard" workers...