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I don`t exactly have a "to do" list. I have what you might call "If I ever log off Facebook and feel like getting around to doing it" list.
I just don`t have enough middle fingers for today.
If its true we`re here to help others, then what exaclty are the others here for?
Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners...
I made a huge TO DO list for this weekend. I just can`t figure out who`s going to do it.
Literally saw someone get a tattoo of a camel on their toe.
Would you mind going with me to my next Psychologist appointment? He thinks I`m making you up.
This guy told me that playing the voilin is the best way to calm you down. I bet he never tried smashing it over someone`s head.
I bought powdered water but I don`t know what to add to it.
When I see a shoe on the side of the road I wonder if Cinderella is in a nearby house.
You never know what you have until you clean your room.
I wonder who Jason Waterfalls is and why did TLC not want him to go...
Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I know where you can buy drugs"
Whenever I receive a text saying bahaha, I like to believe you are a sheep on drugs.
Dear Cashier, you should stop giving me attitude and acting like you`re job is so complicated and stressful....Self-Checkout has proven that pretty much Anyone can do your job.