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A Lion would never cheat on his wife.. but a Tiger wood.
I put mirrors on the ceiling because I like to see how I look when I`m eating pizza alone.
Has anyone ever seen a gorilla in the mist? Some of the local drivers struggle to see my car in perfect daylight conditions, so I doubt that they`d spot a Gorilla in limited visibility!!!!!
I wish I could afford to be as weird as I wanna be.
i just accidentally used AOL online, im betting the workers there are celebrating and think they have a chance in the future. lol
From now on when skinny girls say they`re fat I`m just gonna be like, "Yup" & walk away.
I like my women how I like my straws ā¦. Bendy and full of liquor.
You`re about 8 beers away from being my type.
Anyone want to come over and watch porn on my new flat screen mirrior?
I was going to do a time travelling joke but you guys didn`t like it.
Despite what people may tell you, its the fat that makes you look fat... NOT the dress!! lol
Iām not the kind of person you ever put on speaker phone.
I carry a permanent marker just in case someone without a mustache falls asleep.
If you added up all the time you waste on Facebook, think how much TV you could watch.
My Christmas present to all of you? I took a naked selfie and deleted it.