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Organized people are just too lazy to look for things!
I am so thankful there is no alert that tells someone how many times I have enlarged their profile pics.
Please either stop being so attractive or make out with me, it`s your choice.
It`s okay, Web MD. I don`t really know what`s wrong with me either.
Getting out of bed was my worst mistake today.
My favorite hobbies are practical jokes and masturbation. I’m always trying to pull a fast one
Wow! it`s late.. I need to hit the sack........ Then go to bed.
If history has taught us anything, it’s that reheated french fries are gross.
1: Say "Unh! 2: Mumble three spanish words. 3: list four cities. You just made a Pitbull song.
"You CAN even."- white girl life coach
shoutout to people who have money but still order off the dollar menu
People are making Rapture jokes like there`s no tomorrow.....
Siblings – the only people who will pick on you and then kick the a$$es of anyone else who does it.
Single women come home, see what`s in the fridge and go to bed...while married women come home see what`s in the bed and go to the fridge.
If I had a dollar for every time I thought about you, I would start thinking about you.