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Is it rude to throw breath mints in someones mouth while they`re talking?
Muffins – for people who don’t have the guts to order cake for breakfast.
Whenever I`m out somewhere there is a 99% chance I am thinking about going home and sleeping.
Do you ever just sit there and think “why am I not rich”?
Ermegerd! I WON EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH!!!!! Again! I love being self employed..
A vegan friend on FB said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn`t eat meat... I think if he had to build his own computer he couldn`t whine on FB.
I wonder if there are birds that prefer not to sing in the morning and that just roll around in their nests until noon.
I`ve just woken up, and it appears that Earth is temporarily safe from harm & currently doesn`t need my assistance, so I`m going back to bed.
Just bought two donuts without sprinkles...Diets are hard!
Why do we only crave what`s bad for us? Alcohol, deep fried food, sex with strangers. You never hear anyone say "I`d kill for some salad"
Love your neighbor. But don`t get caught.
What`s the difference between a Garbanzo Bean and a Chickpea? I never had a Garbanzo Bean on my face.
You’d think my password was “yourmom” because my computer just told me it was too easy.
I believe that every person has a story to tell...which is why I stay at home.
Laugh now but at the rate they are reproducing, the people of Walmart may one day take over the world.