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Of course I talk to myself, sometimes I need expert advice.
If you`re a vegan an atheist and a liberal, how do you choose which way to annoy people at Thanksgiving first?
My taste in music ranges from, "You need to listen to this" to "I know, please don`t judge me."
How the hell can Dora call herself an explorer if she only goes to places already on the map?
i love you with all my butt. i would say heart but my butt is bigger :)
The amount of alcohol I would need to sleep with you would actually kill me.
The old saying "I wouldn`t wish this on my worst enemy"... Clearly you have forgotten why they are your worst enemy.
Although tequila is highly toxic, it can be used to dissolve the friend zone.
I`m working harder than an ugly stripper!!
Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
The problem with you is ... you exist.
some mornings i wish i could sneak up behind my alarm clock and say, "HOW DOES IT FEEL?!!"
Whenever I hear "let me tell you the truth", I secretly cross my fingers, hoping they say "brownies are healthy, eat as many as you want."
It’s so nice outside I should probably close the blinds so there isn’t a glare on my screen.
What does "it" mean in the sentence "What time is it?"?