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I don`t know which is worse... waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom so you can use it or hearing them say "come in" when you knock on the bathroom door...
I need me a pretty girl with an ugly girl personality
My teen thought it`d be funny to post as me on Facebook. I laughed and laughed and changed the wi-fi password. Good times!
Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There’s liquor and you can’t hear them.
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Last New Year my resolution was 1920x1080 , this year it`s to be less of a nerd.
Even if girls came with instructions, men would never read them.
What if the weather talks about us?
I’m glad we don’t have to hunt for our food any more. I don’t even know where sandwiches live...
We played a lot of "Keep The Balloon In The Air" as kids, a game known to most other people as being poor.
If you want to have fun with your kids, tell them the teacher called, then ask if there is something they need to tell you.
"There`s more than one way to skin a cat." -Chinese restaurant proverb
Setting the alarm clock proves I`m capable of making the same mistake every day.
I think people who use "go fly a kite" as an insult don`t really understand kites or insults.
My desire to be well informed is currently in deep conflict with my need to stay sane.