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The only problem with teaching little kids to share is that sometimes they want some of my stuff
I don`t have any "driving the speed limit" music.
Roses are red, violets are blue. If I had a brick, I`d throw it at you.
You know you`re addicted to your iphone when you start using your fingers to zoom into things on your laptop computer. Or a printed photo. Or a book. Or your watch.
Ah man... i don`t have any notifications... better go check another computer
I wish I could have the Price Is Right audience around whenever I’m making important life decisions.
I don`t think my neighbor knows my rule about not interacting unless we`re both pointing at the same tornado.
Don’t be too flattered. If I’ve come up a fun nickname for you, chances are it’s because I’ve forgotten your real name. Sorry, Cowboy.
Chinese scientists have discovered the rare rock n roll panda it will only eat A wop bop a loo lop a wop Bamboo
“My phone’s about to die.” is what I say 30 seconds into every phone call. Just in case!
At times I wish I had a clone, but then I realize, I could never live with that a$$hole.
Seriously, dude...Is there a name for what`s wrong with you?
My favorite beer is the 15th one.
A female mantis kills the male after sex. That used to seem cruel, but now that I’m married with kids I think the male mantis gets off easy.
For a one-way mission to Mars, we should send a blogger. Not so they can blog about the experience, but so there`d be one less blogger.