Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
79% of accidents happen in the home....... Finally, good news for the homeless
Lady: what Colour are my eyes? Man: 34D
Fun thing to do: Go to a parking lot and put sticky notes on peoples cars saying "sorry for the damage" and watch them look for it
Ever since I installed Adblocker, I have been severely depressed. Hot singles in my area are no longer interested in me.
I tend to say “I dont know” when I’m too lazy to think.
I would eat a lot more healthy food if it required no preparation or stayed fresh as long as junk food.
Have you ever laid down in bed and start thinking.. Where the hell are my pants!!??
You’re not an easy person to like….I like that about you.
This Coffee has given me unrealistic expectations of productivity.
It must really suck to take life so seriously that you can’t enjoy it.
Sometimes I get in this weird mood where I find everyone annoying. But it only happens when I’m awake.
How come phones only get lost when they are on silent?
Did you know statistically you`re more likely to be killed by a coconut falling from a tree than by a coconut stabbing you with a kitchen knife.
Some of the happiest years of a woman`s life are when she`s 29.
I`m convinced girls only want one thing from guys... all of our hoodies. -Bfanch