Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Remember, You’re only young once, but you can be immature forever.
Handle every stressful situation like a Dog.....Pee on it and walk away.
Mythbusters is basically my childhood with a much larger explosives budget.
Oh I thought it was wait 30 YEARS after eating before you exercise.
Ways to get to my heart: 1) food ... that’s pretty much it
You mean.. people run? On purpose? When nobody is chasing them?
Trying to figure out how to ask a girl on a first date of Netflix and pizza without sounding all serial killery
If your girl sets her Facebook relationship status to “Widowed”, it’s time to pack a suitcase as fast as possible.
“Too much milk left need more cereal” always leads to “too much cereal need more milk”
I see you`ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Hi there beautiful, can I drive you to drink?
To all my friends who sent me best wishes for 2013, for 2014 could you please send money, alcohol or petrol vouchers…Cheers!
Apparently, playing dead only works on bears not ex boyfriends.
The corner of my bathtub is also referred to as "The Shampoo Bottle Graveyard"
People who really love their jobs are annoying. Keep that sh!t to yourself.