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I have a new rule: No one is allowed to talk to me for a minimum of 24 hours after I wake up.
When people ask me what I`m going to be on Halloween, the answer is always the same: really drunk
It`s ok if you don`t like my personality,,, I`ve got others.
I see you`re busy. I`ll come back later and ruin your free time.
Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends.
Excessive consumption of alcohol seems like a good idea.
If Trump wins I`m leaving the country. If Hillary wins I`m leaving the country. This is not a political post, I just want to go on vacation.
Feeling so good today ... High-five the person next to you and tell them it`s from me.
It`s been discovered that 1% of the population is allergic to Gluten. The other 99% are sick and tired of hearing about it......
If you`re not afraid when someone is flipping through the photos on your phone then you`re probably boring.
REPOSTED~WARNING~PLEASE READ! If someone comes to your door and asks you to remove your clothes,and dance with your arms in the air...~DO NOT DO THIS....~It is a SCAM~...They just want to see you naked....I wish I had known this yesterday....I feel so stupid now
I used to think drinking was bad until i stopped thinking
I`ve dieted and worked out enough to realize that the only way I`m getting smokin` hot is by getting cremated.
I accidentally opened the fitness app on my phone for the first time ever. It just began pointing at me & laughing.
is giving everyone permission to steal, and use this status.