Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m not saying I`m lazy, but someone wrote "wash me" on my car so I just wrote back "nah"
My teen thought it`d be funny to post as me on Facebook. I laughed and laughed and changed the wi-fi password. Good times!
If you rub two sticks together fast enough, you`ll eventually start a widespread panic on the subway.
I am not acting childish and you`re just a big doody-head.
Helpful Tip : Never ask the cop to hold your beer while you dig out your drivers license.
whenever I take my clothes off the shower usually gets turned on
Id explain it to you, but I don’t have any crayons with me.
Two heads aren`t better than one if you`re both stupid.
Don`t trust anyone that orders a Medium Pizza....
You`re telling me, a chicken fried this rice
been there, done that, wrote the book and have the t-shirt to prove it. What more do you want!
is running out of excuses for the stupid things I do. Please submit suggestions below.
Nobody talk to me until I`ve Instagrammed my coffee.
A morning text from me doesn`t mean "good morning". It means "I`m having very dirty thoughts about you right now".
Yeah... I may be old... But I`m still hot..... They just come in flashes now!