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The part of "no" that I don´t understand is the part where I don´t get what I want
Its a shame I don`t have 5 incomes to go with my 5 personalities.. Damn free loaders
There`s an emoji for eggplants but not for popcorn and this is why trusting people isn`t just hard, it`s impossible.
Sex ed class should be listening to a baby cry for 5 hours while watching the same cartoon on repeat.
Woke up this morning with a HUGE smile on my face....damn kids and thier sharpies.
Most computer problems are caused by a loose nut between the chair and the keyboard.
At the end of the day, life should ask us, Do you want to save the changes?
Things that keep me awake # 408...How do Amish girls know if it’s a romantic candlelit dinner or just regular dinner?
My daughter wanted a Cinderella themed birthday party, so I invited All of her Friends over and made them clean the house.
I wish I could select all my responsibilities and press delete.
Just heard some guy yell "F**K!" ... I thought this was impressive because not many people can pronounce asterisks.
The point is... Is Imma hug you like a panda nd you`re gunna like it.!(:
Honking your horn is fun but rolling down your window and screaming “honk” at people is just way more satisfying.
Billion dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell "I`m just cooking!"
My favorite part of The Notebook is when I turned it off and watched Terminator 3 instead.