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So no pizza place on Ninja Turtles ever questioned the delivery address being “The Sewer”
The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
Women aren’t that complicated. They just want an honest and genuine guy who will give them insincere compliments they might not deserve.
Boobs: Proof that men can pay attention to two things at once.
It deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pcale. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a pobelrm. Tihs is buseace the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Tihs wulod not be psibsole if yuor sutipd. I hpoe for yuor skae you wree albe to raed tihs or taht maens yuor an idoit or barin dmagaed.
Sorry, when I said I have the stamina of an NBA player in bed I meant I take 10 timeouts in the final 2 minutes.
my phone battery lasts longer than relationships this days !
I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then...
The secret to enjoying good wine: Open to let it breathe. If it appears not to be breathing, apply mouth to mouth.
If there is not an open bar and a delicious cake at your wedding, I will take my gift card to Walmart back.
Sidenote #2: Always have your middle finger ready on standby.
I`m going to invent a cleaning product that kills .1% of all germs and bacteria. It doesn`t sound very effective, but I`m going to get it placed right next to all the other cleaning products that kill 99.9% of all germs and bacteria.
On the 14th of December I`m going to call people and say "7 Days" then hang up...
There are 10 types of people in the world, Those that understand binary, and those who don`t.
I recently added squats to my workouts by moving the beer into the bottom shelf of the fridge.