Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
"It seemed like a good idea at the time"............................... An often used phrase in a lot of my memories.
Funny how things change with time, I used to hate spankings.. ;)
I make way more decisions than I should based on the battery life of my phone.
I am going to write a book about A.D.D., because .. I love fishing. -LOL
Sometimes entire relationships can only be described as "that weird thing I did for a while."
Me: "I want to travel more." Bank account: "Like, to the park?"
I like to pee on car windows in subzero weather, happy scraping
I hate when I put food in the microwave & it starts makin explosive noises so I check and it’s cold like why you gotta play me like that.
I really like ceilings,.. I guess you could call me a ceiling fan.
I`m so sick and tired of my friends who can`t handle their alcohol. The other night they dropped me three time while carrying me to the car.
I would never survive a real job because I dont like being told when I can eat lunch...
If you still wear a Calculator watch, my guess is you don’t need it to add up all the ladies you get….
Don`t fall in love, learn how to ruin your life all by yourself.
The secret to dancing is pretending you have a wedgie and you’re trying to get it unstuck without using you’re hands.