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in 2014 there were times when I annoyed you, disturbed you, irritated you and bugged the hell out of you. Today i wanna let you know that i planned to continue with it this year :-)
It should be standard for wedding invitations to state if there will be an open bar or not.
I`m all for the "going green" thing, but I just can`t bring myself to buy toilet paper that says, "100% Recycled."
I ran into a hot guy at the grocery store last week and he hasn`t tracked me down and proposed to me yet. This is why I hate movies.
With all the technology these days, you`d think they would come up with an Online Gym where losing weight would be a click away
The awkward moment when you have 10 tabs open and cannot figure out which one the music is coming from.
whoo hoo...I have new gutters. Please try and keep your mind out of them.
I may have let you down, but it`s your fault for having such high hopes.
Siblings – the only people who will pick on you and then kick the a$$es of anyone else who does it.
They say that alcohol kills slowly. So what! Who wants to be in a hurry?!?
Apologising does not mean you are wrong and the other person is right, it just means you value your relationship more than your ego.
I just had a call from a Charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people throughout the world. I told them to F off!! Anybody who fits into my clothes isn`t starving!!
I burned my mouth on my pizza and I feel this is a strong metaphor showing me that the ones we love can hurt us the most.
The most dangerous piece of machinery a person can operate while drinking is the telephone
Snails would be terrifying if they moved quickly.