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Thank God! the women with 3 boobs was a hoax... I just couldn`t wrap my hands around it....
Shout out to all the kids who could never find their name on souvenir keychains and license plates. That sh!t hurt.
We should bury everyone upside down so if they come back as zombies they’ll dig the wrong way.
my cross-eyed girlfriend left me today. She was seeing someone else.
keeps getting dirty voicemails from unknown numbers. If it`s you.. Send more
Man, those 2013 Mayan Calenders are REALLY hard to find...
I don`t care how much you liked the soap - NEVER be caught smelling your fingers while walking out of a public restroom.
They should really be Middle-Age Mutant Business Turtles by now.
People say that 60 is the new 40. The cop who pulled me over didn`t agree.
A man typed in search box on Google : “What do women want?”. Google Replied : “We are also searching…”
Screw you recommended serving size. You don’t know me.
How many Snickers are an acceptable meal replacement?
I wish the guy made of money in the Gieco commercial would ride his motorcycle through my town.
If your day was that bad, why do you assume we want to know about it?
I wonder if Superman ever put glasses on Lois Lane`s dog & she was like, "I`ve never seen this dog before. Is this a new dog?"