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In the morning instead of having coffee and reading my horoscope, I have coffee and unfriend anyone who posts their horoscope.
I smile when I`m having dirty thoughts :)
Friends are like boobs... Some are real some are fake.
200 pictures of you at the bar and 2 pictures with your kids. You must be quite the mom.
I hate mixed messages. They`re great.
Bend over and take it like a taxpayer.
If someone throws a rock at you, throw a flower back at them, but, make sure the flower is still in the pot..
i forgot how to put a status ... can anyone help me ?
Life is simple. Eat. Sleep. Update Facebook status.
Part of me says I can´t keep drinking like this. The other part of me says, "Don´t listen to that guy. He´s drunk."
I’ve been really depressed these past few days. Finally visited a therapist and got diagnosed. Turns out, I’m poor.
A panda never pays his bills, because he eats shoots and leaves!!!
Asking me if I’m hungry, is like asking me if I like money.
Facebook is not all about likes and shares. . . Like and share if you agree.
If you’re that person that makes microwave popcorn at work, nobody likes you.