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Huge spoiler here ... Did you know Dave is actually NOT the real father of Alvin, Simon, and Theodore.
Science is just a numbery way to explain magic.
I love the people in parking lots with "free kittens" signs because I too feel that kittens shouldn`t be oppressed.
Starting to believe I`m trouble
Game of Thrones characters should have to wear jerseys with their names on the back
Guys are at their mathematical best when a girl says she is pregnant. Agree or nah??
My ex got run down by a bus today. I thought "Wow, that could have been me!" but I can`t drive a bus.
I don’t use Siri because I have to deal with enough women who have no personality and know everything.
I think I might be bisexual. Because last night I had sex by myself.
Does this couch I`m laying on make me look unmotivated?
Personal trainer said we`re going to try some dips today. I brought hot salsa and tangy cheese...He hates me.
The real trouble with reality is that there`s no background music.
I`m super lazy today. Which is like normal lazy but I`m also wearing a cape.
"We have HBO" - apparently still a bragging point in the motel industry.
Cute things to put in a letter to your boyfriend/girlfriend; I adore you. You complete me. Must stay 500 yards away at all times.