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Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
I`m super lazy today! Which is like normal lazy, but I`m also wearing a cape.
You`re not a geek or a nerd because you always have to have the latest high tech gadgets and electronics. YOU`RE RICH
Remember that there’s always someone cooler, smarter, stronger or prettier than you. That would be me.
I missed that one episode of The Walking Dead where they show us how the zombies keep everyone`s lawns so freshly mowed.
I want to give up coffee, but I`d hate to do that to my coworkers.
Don’t look unless you’re prepared to see.
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over? You were driving 80 miles an hour. Driver: "No way; I ain`t even been on the road an hour."
My wife is a perfectionist but she made an exception in my case.
I hope when I die, it`s early in the morning so I don`t go to work that day for no reason.
Apparently a teen in Brazil died after jerking off 42 times without stopping. So incase you were wondering. ...41, guys,...that`s the limit.
I`m never free but I`m available.
The only beachfront property I`ll ever be able to afford is a sandcastle.
Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.
Tip of the day: Don`t be a douche!