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I believe in karma that means I can do bad things to people I don’t like and assume they deserved it.
For Halloween I`m going as an invisible person. I will be at all your parties.
I drink my coffee out of a clear mug so people so where my tolerance level is at.
Pizza: nah, Sex: eh, Drinking: no thanks, It`s so hard thinking of what to give up for Lent...
My definition of" Armed and Dangerous" is: a pissed off wife with a bottle of wine, and the credit cards.
It`s all good and well until the fecal matter impacts the electric powered air current generation device.....
I have no problem texting while driving, but I won’t text while going down stairs. That sh!t’s dangerous.
As soon as I figure out who drank my 2 cases of beer, I`m gonna try to figure out why I`m so drunk.
Instead of a selfie, you should take a someone elsie.
I enjoy a bit of unnecessary swearing as much as the next f*cker.
Since my ear surgery I haven`t heard from my doctor. Not sure if that`s a good thing or not.
Nothing says "under the thumb" like a joint Facebook account
I`ve often wondered: Who the heck is Pete, and why do we do things for his sake?
A homeless man just asked me if I was having a bad hair day, so I took my dollar back.
Please be patient...I`m fcuking things up as fast as I can.