Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Corn mazes are great because how often does one get to experience the feeling of being trapped by corn
Thanks to this huge spider web I just walked into, we can now add the neighbors to the list of people that have seen me naked.
No I don`t think you`re stupid, I just think you have real bad luck when it comes to thinking
My house looks like I`m losing a game of Jumanji.
I am really thankful that I have a desk job. I could never get all my personal stuff done at home.
Still haven`t cashed in my winning megamillions ticket...scared the $6 will make my friends treat me different.
A homeless guy asked me for 50 cents for a sandwich. I said, "First let me see the sandwich."
Don`t kiss behind the garden . Love is blind but the neighbors are not :P
If you`re feeling powerless just remember a single one of your turds can shut down an entire water park.
If I was famous I would just knock on peoples doors and be like ... Hello, yes it`s me.
When people ask me for advice, I tell them, “Use your best judgment,” which they clearly don’t have if they are asking me for advice.
I remember being able to get up without making sound effects. Good times.
Don’t get me wrong, you are hot as hell, I am just too lazy to stalk right now.
I`ve spent three hours investigating this chicken and I still can`t find his nuggets.
10 times out of 9, you’ll find me exaggerating about something