Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m not the type of person you want to put on speaker during a phone conversation.
Age sure does change your perspective. Lots of things I hated when I was a kid I love now... like having nothing to do, going to bed early, watching the news, spankings.... stuff like that.
roses are red , violets are blue , I got five fingers and the 3rd one for you ;)
My kids can be difficult sometimes, but my mom always assures me that I deserve it.
DID YOU KNOW: If every person on the planet lined up along the Earth`s equator, most of them would drown.
"But why?" - Me at weddings
The computers were down at work today, so we had to do everything manually. It took me twenty minutes to shuffle the cards to play solitaire.
I`m not a bitch, I just have a low bullsh!t tolerance.
Hey, guy from the gym with lifting gloves still on, you can take them off now, you`re in Starbucks.
Being ‘clean and sober’ means I’ve showered and I’m headed to the liquor store.
If you smell Axe body spray on your lawyer,, you`re going to jail.
All through school I assumed they saved the number 1 pencils for the smart kids
If the shoe fits, buy it.
Isn’t it funny how people that talk too much also have annoying voices?
Don`t sell yourself short, in fact, don`t sell yourself at all. I`m pretty sure it`s illegal