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3 horrible facts: 1. Today is not Friday... 2. Tomorrow is not Friday... 3. The day after tomorrow is not Friday...
A Waist Is A Terrible Thing To Mind
I always tell myself there is no such thing as a stupid question, but everyday someone tries to change my mind
Is running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels?
Just once I`d like to see someone in a movie call bullshit when someone tells them their phone number starts with 555
Hey ladies who complain about falling in when we leave the toilet seat up; how about you first check if the runway is there before you bring the plane down.
"Does this dress make me look fat?"-- Now, what I SHOULD have said was, "No, dear! You are little black dress approved!" but what came out was, "When did your bum move to the front?"
Is it just me that finds it disturbing that you can accidentally make a baby but you can`t accidentally make a pizza?
My house has really let itself go.
I took a sexual harassment course today, I think this is actually something I might be pretty good at
Today I saw something that reminded me of you. But don`t worry, I flushed and everything went back to normal.
Divorce... The most common home improvement project.
Everyone please stop doing crimes because sirens are too noisy.
I went to the store to buy some comdoms and the cashier asked me If I needed a bag ? "I replied No she`s not that ugly"
Does `virgin wool` come from sheep the shepherd hasn`t caught yet? ..just asking