Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Married sext: I’m not wearing any underwear, because you never put the f*cking laundry in the dryer like I asked you to 100 times.
The expiration date on my credit card is 4/20 and it always gets a good laugh when Im ordering pizza for delivery.
I told everyone at work that I have a twin so that when I see them in public I won`t have to talk to them.
In space they just call it "Jam"
“Grandbrother” sounds much cooler than uncle.
I`m having a problem in Call Of Duty, I go to the menu and... ok by now the girls have stopped reading this, anyone know any good porn sites?
Don`t put off for tomorrow what you can do today, because if you enjoy it today you can do it again tomorrow.
4/20? More like 1/5. Stupid stoners forgot how to reduce their fractions.
If people winked in real life as much as they do in texts, the world would be a really creepy place.
My parents weren`t exercising all of those nights.
Gee I wish I could push the envelope... But it`s stationary.
Nothing makes me more productive than the last minute.
Isn`t it weird when a cop drives by you feel paranoid instead of protected.
Snails would be terrifying if they moved quickly.
Most of happiness just comes from staying away from idiots.