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You never realize how boring your life is until someone asks you what you like to do for fun.
I`m starting to think all that stuff about Y2K is not going to happen !
I want to start a womans magazine called "Period". ..then every few months I`ll send it out late JUST to freak them out. ;)
I failed the emergency broadcast test. My apologies to all the employees I shoved to the ground while screaming
People with jobs: It`s Friday!!! People without jobs: It`s Friday?
Soccer is just like my sex life. Long periods of time with no action followed by pure shock & surprise by all parties involved when I score.
I was blown away when I realised the word " OK " is a side ways person.
These energy drinks make sitting on the couch so much more exciting.
And Jesus said, those footprints on the beach where two sets become one, that`s where I unfollowed you.
They say you are what you eat. I don`t remember eating a sexy beast this morning...
It`s amazing the things I can remember when I don`t need to remember anything.
I wonder if birds look at planes and think "man, I`ve really got to hit the gym"
I wonder if there`s a margarita somewhere out there thinking about me, too.
I organized a threesome last night....there were a couple of no shows, but I still had a good time
Do you like the strong, silent type? Then you`ll love my farts.