Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I always like to keep a nice photo of myself for my Facebook profile pic because that is the picture that will be splashed all over the news when I finally go off the deep end.
"Haha" - me when I don`t understand the reference
condoms prevent minivans
All my childhood invisible friends are probably doctors and lawyers now.
If you think my post are bad, you should see my choice in men.
If I had a dollar for everytime i thought of you, I would start thinking about you!
I`m great in bed....i can sleep for days.
The worst thing that can happen when you invite someone over to "watch a movie" is actually watching a movie.
Accept the craziness. Life will be a bore without it.
Seriously contemplating remarrying my ex wife, but I`m pretty sure she`ll figure out that I`m just after my money
If tomatoes are classed as a fruit, then doesnt that mean that ketchup is technically a smoothie? ... hmmm
I tried yoga and I think my downward dog looked more like winnie the pooh getting stuck in rabbit`s door.
Love your enemies; after all, you made them!
"nice crocs. where did you get them?" - nobody ever
To my neighbor using a chainsaw at 7:30 on a Sunday morning: Try holding the other end.