Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
April 1st is the absolute worst day to have a heart attack.
Prostitution must be a hole sale business.
My kids keep bugging me about dinner, even after I keep telling them I already ate.
There are times, when I actually am hungry like the wolf. But thanks to Duran Duran I can`t tell anyone without sound like a complete f*cking idiot
I’m beginning to think that for some of you, the wheels on your bus do not go round & round.
All`s not lost my Friends. It won`t be long til people realize Selfie Sticks also make wonderful lightning rods......
Im not fat I´m just easier to see
I need a partner in wine.
you know what`s funny? Obviously neither do I or I would have posted it.
boss: why are you peeing on the floor? mikeski: i already filled up your coffee cup.
Some guy waved to me and then walked up and said, “Sorry, I thought you were someone else.” .... I said, “I am.”
Back in my day it was called daydreaming…not ADHD.
You wanna know where I`m ticklish? Hawaii.
People hiking with a giant stick never seem any better at hiking than the rest of us.
Never resist a mad impulse to do something nice for me.