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I always stop to help women broke down. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how a good porno starts off!
Benefits of dating me: 1. You`re the smart one
Having kids is like continually cleaning up after a huge party that you didn`t attend.
Father: Earlier you used to call me papa but now dad, why? Daughter: Come on dad, calling you PAPA spoiles my lipstick.
So, if I lie to the government, it’s a felony. But if they lie to me its politics?
I don`t have mistletoe this year, so we`ll just have to kiss under the influence.
It’s strange to think that the sound of nature is the sound of millions of animals desperately trying to get laid.
I’ve got a friend whose nickname is “Shagger”. You might think that’s pretty cool. She doesn’t like it
If at first you don´t succeed ..... buy her another drink
Women want a lot of things from one man. Conversely, men want one thing from a lot of women.
A high school diploma takes you 12 years to get, 2 minutes to frame and a lifetime to forget where you put it.
Studies show than men who have sex more often tend to have a longer life expectancy. See, it`s a survival thing.
Happy birthday you motor boatin SOB! Have a great day
my husband of 10 years still goes mad when I use his toothbrush, if anyone knows a better way to get dog poo off shoes, im all ears
is wondering if the hokey pokey is really what it´s all about