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A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
Saw a girl with three lip piercings, took everything in my power not to attach a shower curtain
Girls don`t dress for guys, they dress for themselves. If they dressed for guys they would be naked all the time
My spirit animal is that chicken who keeps crossing the road for reasons no one can figure.
How does one get a nice body without moving?
What`s the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller" ?
I was watching craps at the casino all night until security finally dragged me out of the bathroom.
Can you imagine how sexy I`d be if I ate right and took care of my body... I`m not going to, but can you imagine
Most of my thoughts have been coming from a very dark place lately. That`s what happens when you forget to pay your electric bill
I like to flush the toilet a few times when I`m on the phone with someone who calls me so they know not to do that again
My cat just dragged in a half eaten sausage, I have no idea where he got it from but it tastes expensive.
Scratch and Sniff Here [____] …Smells like glass, doesn’t it
What’s the difference between partly cloudy and partly sunny?
When suffering from insomnia I either count sheep or ask my girlfriend how her day was.
My favorite beer is the 15th one.