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My internet addiction is getting alt of ctl.
You do realize everyone can see your status right?
Wake up, kids! Bees can`t even read, much less spell. IT`S A SCAM!
People say that 60 is the new 40. The cop who pulled me over didn`t agree.
I’m not a comedian. I don’t tell jokes. I just tell the truth in a way it sounds funny.
I hear lots of doctors are prescribing medical marijuana for arthritis. Given that arthritis is "inflammation of the joints", it`s fighting fire with fire!
I`m still trying to get over the fact that oranges are pre-sliced by nature.
Having plans sounds like a good idea until you have to put on clothes and leave your house.
I consider each one of my friends a gift. Now if only I could remember where I put some of those receipts.
I finally saw Kung Fu Panda. I`m certainly not an expert, but I thought the nunchuck scene looked kind of fake.
Just because I know I`m a "Good looking, extremely intelligent, funny as hell, sexy ass, Motherf#ker" doesn`t mean I`m "Conceited"...Im more like a "Realist", that just so happens to be very good with adjectives!...A "Bad-Ass Realist", that is!
No matter how stupid you feel, remember, Little Red Riding Hood couldn`t figure out a talking wolf in drag wasn`t her grandmother.
Its so cold outside I might even post about it on Facebook
I bet the women who only post about sex are probably some of the nicest men you’ll ever meet in person.
Today we salute Vodka~ruining family reunions and supporting hilarious `hold my drink` moments for 50 years...