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Spiders are the only web developers that are happy to find bugs.
In my head I sound like the Queen of England bitches!
People who live in glass houses should not throw orgies
Do you ever notice that when you´re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
I love long legs.... Long sexy legs.....But not on a Spider, I hate long sexy legs on a Spider.
The only time I`ve ever had a chip on my shoulder was when I tried to dump the entire bag into my mouth at once.
“Are you completely sure this isn’t textable?” -the perfect voicemail prompt.
Amazing how many people just stroll into tattoo parlors and say “Give me the dumbest thing you can think of.”
Ever met a boring and stable girl who was good in bed? Exactly.
Turns out I`m ambidextrous at yet another sport! And I even scored a bingo twice. Left-handed!
His idea of cleanliness is sweeping the room with a glance.
I really need a day inbetween Saturday an Sunday
When I have to make a difficult decision in life I think what would grandma do, then I leave home in my nightie & shout at random strangers.
Nothing`s more embarrassing than that pantsless walk to get more toilet paper. I felt like everyone in CVS was staring at me.
I’m actually a really nice guy once you get to blow me.