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If Facebook was school I swear we would all have perfect attendance.
If I truly posted what was on my mind ... I´d most likely be in a psychiatric hospital right now.
You can`t make me believe there`s a shortage of jobs in this country when there are 23 cash registers at WalMart and only 3 cashiers.
I get more excited seeing my luggage on a baggage carousel than I do seeing a person I know.
I will not let people drive me crazy because I know it`s in walking distance.
What idiot called it Adderall instead of Accomplish Mints?
Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, `You`re only interested in one thing,` and you can`t remember what it is.
I see your Full House and I raise you 3 episodes of Home Improvement. -Me, not knowing how to play poker, but loving 90`s TV
I’ve got a friend whose nickname is “Shagger”. You might think that’s pretty cool. She doesn’t like it
Sometimes at the gym I`ll struggle and make all kinds of awkward grunting sounds, but eventually I`ll get my shorts on.
you can´t drink all day if you don´t start in the morning
Admit it, you`ve answered Dora at least once in your life.
I don`t care about Disney lying about the Prince Charmings out there. I`m more annoyed that random woodland creatures won`t clean my house.
If I had a dollar for every time I had a nickel.......
Chips have little nutritional value. That’s why you need to eat the whole bag.