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I want to meet myself from someone else’s point of view.
I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo
I love my car. Without it, I would not be where I am today.
At least clean up the bathroom before taking your profile picture.
The object of golf.... is to play the least amount of golf.
Marriage is just a 50 year long negotiation over thermostat settings.
I`d say 20% of my day is spent trying to convince the dog we`re not about to be murdered by the UPS guy, mailman, squirrels, or the ice dispenser..
We`re sorry to announce that due to budget cuts the beloved carol "Silver Bells" will be replaced with the more cost effective carol "Aluminium Bells".
Hello...
My doctor asked if any members of you family suffers from insanity, I replied "nope they seem to enjoy it!"
thinks we need to think like a first grade teacher and separate Romney and Gingrich next time they debate!
Sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I`ll read 4 or 5 status updates and I`ll cry, because I relieze how dysfunctional some of my friends life`s are. but then I`ll smile when I remember things like the leftover pizza from last night sitting on the coffee table!
Maybe if I tilt my head to the side I can understand English – dogs
Well, I’m bored again. Time to open the fridge
Not to brag, but, I`ve already consumed 174% of my daily fat requirement.