Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Based on the sounds coming from my neighbors house, they`re either having amazing sex or putting together a dresser from Ikea.
This status was brought to you by me being bored on the toilet.
I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
They say the camera adds 10lbs. Stop eating cameras!
I learned how to kiss passionately by practicing on my hand, but now it just uses me for sex.
The ‘poke’ button on Facebook should be replaced with a ‘slap’ button.
9 out of 10 husbands agree that their wives are always right. The 10th one hasn`t been seen since the study was conducted.
Two years ago I became a proud parent. My kid is 6, but they were kind of a pain those first four years.
I made a New Years Resolution to gain 20 lbs, so I can relish in the sense of accomplishment and success!
I`m so ghetto.... I had lights and water bill in my name before the age of 3..
Good thing Jan Brady`s older sister wasn`t named Beetlejuice
I don`t get why people find drunk text annoying
If tit for tat doesn`t mean flashing guys with tattoos, than I`ve been doing it wrong this whole time.
I`m a fantastic secret-keeper because, deep down, I really don`t care enough to actually talk about it to anyone else.
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?