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Imagine being the sort of person who knows what every button on a TV remote does.
I`ll act my age when I`m 69..
He is proud of himself. He finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
Funny word combinations :Clearly misunderstood, Exact estimate, Small crowd, Act naturally, Found missing, Fully empty and above all ... Happily Married
Just found out the government won`t hire you past age 37. Scratch Navy SEAL off my to do list
I’m not high maintenance, but rather precious cargo with lavish instruction for upkeep.
99 Days Facebook Free? Big deal! In 1999 I went a whole year without Facebook.
Your parents taught you to wash your hands after you pee. My parents taught me not to pee on my hands in the first place.
You know you had an interesting day when your Google search history includes "rubber panda".
Long story short, I love summaries
Didn`t think my day could get any better but my robe has pockets so boom, there you go.
80% of my life is pulling percentages out of thin air and stating them as facts...
If flying is really so safe, then why is it called the `terminal`?
If at first you don’t succeed, try doing it the way I told you to.
"That`s too much bacon." -Nobody ever