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Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
That`s not how I met your mother.
Fun game: Borrow some tools from your neighbor and return them one by one covered in blood, until they move...
Whenever I`m out somewhere there is a 99% chance I am thinking about going home and sleeping.
The secret to success is in my bra.
Valentine’s Day is in 4 days so if you are secretly in love with me I suggest you reveal it now.
Life is just like a p@nis: Simple, relaxed and hanging freely, It`s the women who make it hard.
"You`re so cute!" works as a response to anything my girl says 99% of the time when I`m not listening which is 99% of the time.
Just tore the tag off my mattress and there’s nothing the feds can do about it. MUAHAHAHAHA!!!
I just found my Christmas Spirit.... It`s been in aisle 6 at this liquor store the whole time!
My ex says that he will dance on my grave. I`ve now arranged to be buried at sea
roes are red violets are blue he`s for me not for you if for any chance you`ll take my place i`ll use my fist and smash your face
Apple is looking to expand its market share among Latinos. No word yet on the release date of their newest device, the iCaramba.
The best part of an argument is the make up sex...unless you`re fighting with your brother.
My dog takes so long to sh!t I can`t believe he`s not out there playing Candy Crush.