Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
This is just a quick shout-out to bread bowls, waffle cones and other edible containers. You guys are doing a great job.
Stress balls really work when you shove them down someone`s throat.
Please say a prayer for my coworker. His life is so boring that he just Instagrammed his Jimmy Johns sandwich
You really understand how drunk you are when you`re peeing...
People say love is the best feeling ever. However I think finding a toilet right away when you have diarrhea is better.
Dear Costumer Service: I wonder how long I`d be on hold if my call wasn`t important to you?
So those numbers on sports jerseys are how many people each player has killed or what.
I can already tell this is going to be one of those days where I am not rich and famous.
It`s everyone`s favorite holiday season where we try to guess if that was a firework or gunshot
If your single and you know it…Pet your cat!
This chick I met last week says she wants a guy who is `funny and spontaneous`, yet when I tap on the kitchen window uninvited late at night dressed as a clown it`s all pantic and screaming.
Made the decision that I`m done having kids. Yet every morning I wake up and there they are asking me for breakfast.
I just threw up my weekend.
The plural of beer is beer, which is very convenient when you are explaining to your wife why you were late coming home from work.
The only time I’ve passionately knocked everything off a table was when I was trying to make room for a pizza.