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Don`t tell me I have to say "Happy Holidays" so nobody gets offended. I will "Merry Christmas" the sh!t out of you.
Aren`t you too fat to be this rude?
This skinny girl just told me she "forgets" to eat? Is that possible? I just licked her face in case it`s contagious.
Jehovah`s witnesses tell the worst knock, knock jokes
Hardest question in a relationship, "What do you feel like eating?"
In a perfect world Taco Bell would deliver...
Sleep is my drug, the bed my dealer, the alarm clock the police.
I don`t mind being wrong, as long as nobody knows.
If I`ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it`s that everyone speaks English after they die.
I`m so old I remember when water was free and you had to pay for porn.
No matter what`s happening there`s always part of me that would rather be taking a nap or drinking.
A jealous woman does better research than the FBI.
People always say that alcohol kills... but if you think about it .... it causes many births too.
For an "adult" bookstore, this place has a LOT of picture books
Let’s fix the obesity problem AND improve eye-hand coordination by replacing vending machines with claw machines, make people earn snacks.