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How to get a woman mad in 2 easy steps: 1. Take a picture of her. 2. Don`t show it to her.
I don`t hate you, but if you we`re drowning, I would dive in and handcuff a piano to your neck.
Doctor says I`m morbidly a beast. Thanks doc.
I like surprises. Not the `finger in my a$$ without permission` kind, but flowers are always nice.
really vry funny
FACT: Every zoo is a petting zoo, if you’re brave enough.
Some of these Giraffe profile pictures are a vast improvement.
Synonym: Word used in place of the one you can`t spell.
Whats the best part about dating a homeless chick, ..... You can drop her off anywhere
If all the worlds a stage and the men and women merely players, how come Justin Bieber gets all the airtime?
How do nudist clean their glasses?
Fact: Pornos aren`t based on actual events.
Not to brag, but my bathroom floor is so clean I can sleep on it. Apparently.
It’s not drinking alone if the dogs are home, right?
Hey, chicks who have words tattooed on your tits... We didn`t come here to read.