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I`m still waiting for that fairly tale scene where the animals clean everything for me.
Feeling tired as you struggle to get through the day? There`s a nap for that.
My doctor said he`s been practicing for 30 years. When will he start doing his job for real?
Don`t believe everything you think.
Getting up in the morning is like writing an essay. You want to do it, it takes a lot of effort, and you usually quit halfway through.
I sleep better naked.. why can´t the flight attendants understand this?
This is why my kids dont take me places anymore ... Waitress: “Do u have any questions about the menu?” Me: ” Yes, What kind of font is this?”
Ever been in the middle of writing a great post and think, did I just run someone over?
As you get older three things happen. The first is your memory goes, and I can´t remember the other two.
I`m ready to regret having sex with you.
I only get religious when scratching off lottery tickets.
I used to think I was overreacting. Now I realize it was a normal reaction to an abnormal amount of bullsh!t.
Illiterate? Well then sign up today for free online reading classes!
The best part about growing old with you is that I`ll always be the younger one.
Sometimes you just see a post and think, "Yup it`s your own fault."