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Texting "Good Morning, Beautiful" will change a girl`s whole day. If you time it right, it will do the same for her boyfriend.
School taught me a lot of stuff, but the most useful was how to get ready in 15 minutes
Why do restaurants always say "Shirt and Shoes Required" but never say anything about pants?
In light of recent events, I have no choice but to deduct a full star from my Yelp review of Earth.
What`s a burnt pizza, frozen beer, & a pregnant girl have in common? In each scenario, there`s a dumb guy who didn`t take it out in time.
Women aren’t that complicated. They just want an honest and genuine guy who will give them insincere compliments they might not deserve.
Self-Checkout lanes were invented by a guy who was sent out to buy tampons.
If you lift up the handle on the car door at the same time I`m trying to unlock it more than two times, I`m driving off without you.
This might be my ego talking, but I feel my weight-loss spambot followers care about me. They really, really, do.
If I`ve learned anything from these ghost hunter shows, it’s that everyone speaks English after they die.
My boss told me that there is no such thing as problems, only opportunities. I said, “That’s great. Well I have a serious drinking opportunity.”
What is an Amish girls favourite fantasy? Two Mennonite
Somehow, hitting the "end call" button on the cell phone just doesn`t feel nearly as good as the old days when you could slam the phone down on somebody.
All my life I thought air was free… and then I bought a bag of chips. ^^
It`s not too late to start convincing our children that the world really did end in 2012 and we`re the survivors.