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Got in touch with my inner self this morning. That`s the LAST time I buy single ply toilet paper.
Ain’t no sandwich when she’s gone.
When I was a kid, my parents moved a lot, but I always found them.
It`s never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes.
How do amish girls know if its a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular candle lit dinner.
I just read last year 4,153,237 people got married. I don’t want to start any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number? ...hmm
I hate when I`m wearing my apple bottoms jeans and I can`t find boots with the fur.
If alcohol kills millions of brain cells, how come it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?
When nobody`s home, I tighten the top to every jar and bottle in the house.
Only toilet paper deals with more a$$holes than I do.
Walmart: Because where else in the world can you pay $50 to have your oil changed by someone with a GED, find a sized 46H bra, or run the risk of being filmed live on location with the men and women of law enforcement on your way out the door.
I don`t know why people freak out and run when they see a spider. They are just gonna climb in your mouth when you are sleeping anyway.
Applebees is a word that starts off pretty tame but takes a dangerous twist
You never know what you have until you clean your room.
Who ever snuck the s in "fast food" was a clever little bastard!