Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My superpower is making people laugh ... Which would be great if I was trying to be funny
If men could have multiple orgasms, lotions would cost more than an iPhone.
WARNING!! I have character defects and I`m not afraid to use them.
"Lets all put our phones down and talk with each other.." - Someone who has run out of phone battery.
Imagine this: You`re home alone and you sneeze. Suddenly the phone rings and you answer, then someone whispers `Bless you` and hangs up.
One advantage of growing old is you don`t have to worry about hackers stealing your nude pics out of the cloud.
Just wrote ‘You have no new messages’ on a piece of paper, put it in a bottle and threw it far out to sea.
Sharing your faith on Facebook is like sharing a fart in a elevator. It might feel nice to come out but no one really wants to hear it.
Do these people in movies who wander off into the woods alone at night not watch movies?
No matter what`s happening there`s always part of me that would rather be taking a nap or drinking.
On the bright side, my coffee will never get cold in hell.
Notice how writers don’t rewrite books, how about we stop remaking movies.
A blind man walks into a bar....and a stool....and a table....
You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
My "Savings Account" is just several pairs of unwashed jeans on the floor that may or may not still have change in the pockets.