Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
All sex is safe sex if you keep your bright orange reflective vest on.
My first mistake was thinking she couldn`t hit a moving target.
Probably the most exciting feature on the new Iphone is the way it upgrades simple phone theft into full on finger removal.
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
Sometimes I feel as though my life should be documented for future generations.
If an officer asks “do you know why I pulled you over?” “Because it’s the only way to get girls to talk to you” is a bad answer, apparently
Just got in 30 minutes of cardio trying to pick an ice cube up off the kitchen floor.
Whenever I see people lined up outside a club on Friday night, I just think “look at all these poor people who don’t know Netflix exists.”
Sometimes it`s fun to make fun of yourself. Almost as fun as it is to make fun of others.
I`m pretty sure there`s a chip in my car that turns all traffic lights RED...
My kitchen is actually nothing more than a fruit hospice
and alcohol are now friends.
I would be a great procrastinator ... if I could ever get around to it.
Decided to get in touch with my feminine side today... I made myself a sandwich!
If you`re not afraid when someone is flipping through the photos on your phone then you`re probably boring.