Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes you run into people who change your life forever ... Bartenders, they are called bartenders.
To me, the worst part of the prostate exam is when the doctor says, "Guess how many fingers."
If you`re out running in jeans, I`m gonna go ahead and assume you just participated in a felony.
Life can be like Chess sometimes. I don`t know how to play Chess.
That awkward moment when you have 10+ tabs open and you can`t figure out which one the music is coming from.
"Baby on Board" Oh really? Thanks for letting me know. I was about to ram into your car but now I won`t.
I`m watching a show about surviving in the wild in case I ever decide to log off and go outside.
Does anyone actually know what you have to do when people are singing Happy Birthday to you.
I remember 2011 like it was yesterday. ;)
I made it halfway to Mexico before I realized that those sirens were just coming from the song on my radio.
I`m as bored as a guy with no arms looking at porn.
I never said "you were stupid" I said "you are stupid", there`s nothing past tense about it!
On the bright side, my coffee will never get cold in hell.
I`m out like a fat kid playing dodge ball..
If you`re "just sayin", then just shut the hell up.