Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Me: "Why do all the people I love leave me?!" UPS Guy: "Please Mam, just sign"
Sorry but if these walls could talk I`m pretty sure they`d talk about wall things and not whatever scandal you`re blowing out of proportion.
My neighbors look at me in a very weird way.. it’s like they never saw a guy with binoculars before.
After a while you just get used to people not understanding.
If you receive an e-mail that says: ``FREE JUSTIN BIEBER CONCERT TICKETS`` Don`t open it! It may contain free Justin Bieber concert tickets.
That moment when you pour yourself a bowl of cereal and discover there`s no milk. So you just sit there, wondering why bad things happen to good people?
Getting back with your ex is pretty much the same as taking a shower, getting out, and putting back on the same old dirty underwear.
I only have a kitchen because it came with the house.
If pi is 3.14, then I think .99 is a good deal for 2 doughnuts.
If someone says they`ll always be there for you...make sure you find out exactly where "there" is.
I believe in karma which means I can do bad things to people all day long and just assume they deserve it.
Recent survey asked people in the U.S if there are too many immigrants: 17% said yes, 83% said Lo siento, no hablan Inglés
Sometimes I feel like a semicolon. I don`t know where I belong.
am I the only one who would beat the sh!t out of someone for wearing a "forever lazy" to a tailgate?
They say dolphins are the second smartest animal after humans, but I`ve never seen a dolphin with a face tattoo.