Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Conspiracy theory for conspiracy theorists: Your conspiracy theories were planted by the government to distract you from real conspiracies.
We have those sticky traps all around the house and I just found one moved clear across the room with all sorts of hair on it....so if anyone see`s a BALD mouse running around, it belongs to me
Dancing in the 70`s: I have absolutely no idea what I am pointing at
Whenever someone says to me, "Oh, you look so familiar, where do I know you from?" I like to respond with, "Do you watch porn?"
I consider anything that doesn`t fit in the dishwasher to be for one time use.
is deep in thought . . . if only i could remember what i was thinking about
We will always have that special 5 minutes before I started creeping you out.
llllllloooollllll...........................i saw a donkey on a bike
I overheard 2 girls say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.
This sushi restaurant has the worst service. "Sir, this is an aquarium"
I don`t understand when people say `age is just a number`... Age is clearly a word.
Adult: A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.
Pillow forts have no age limit when you’re awesome.
Be the type of gentleman that holds the door open for your girl, but smacks her ass as she walks in.
Im convinced that one day we will all live in the future.