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I`m trying to live healthier......but I`m considering taking up cigars, since they`re still the coolest way to light dynamite fuses.
I`m getting all dressed up. Have a feeling I might be on COPS tonight.
I love living single, drinking double, and sleeping triple.
I don`t like making plans for the day, because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around in the courtroom.
I`ve been waiting all winter to start complaining about the summer heat.
Relationships, Marriages, work and children are what keep alcohol companies in business.
Here`s a crazy concept, maybe I`m not in a bad mood, angry, or a bitch. Maybe I said it because it`s true and I meant it. Marinate on that.
If tit for tat doesn`t mean flashing guys with tattoos, than I`ve been doing it wrong this whole time.
I was all ears until you said something that sounded like advice.
My favorite part about your rant on how much you hate social media sites was when you posted it from a social media site.
Listening to the voices in my head, I’ve concluded that they’re having more fun than me.
My house has really let itself go.
Sometimes my brain is like the bermuda triangle...Information goes in then it`s never found again..
Don`t you hate it when you`re typing something and you`re thinking about something else so then you subconsciously type what you were boobies.
When people introduce themselves to me for the first time, I tell them, "Yes, we`ve met before." So they feel awkward trying to remember me