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People assume when I yawn that I`ve lost interest in what they have to say but truth be told, I was never interested.
It`s impossible to look cool while holding onto a leash attached to a dog who is taking a crap.
Ya Know, if I was Jessie`s Girl. I would of dumped Jessie for Rick Springfield!!
I did responsible things all day so tonight will consist of nothing that even resembles responsibility.
"Mail your packages early so the Post Office can lose them in time for Christmas."
Now working on my 2nd million. I gave up on the first.
A hot woman telling me about her boyfriend is like setting money on fire in front of a homeless person.
Good news: I finally got my computer connected to the wireless printer. Bad news: not sure which house I need to go to get my documents.
I just want to point out that I am an Amazon Prime member so it`s about time you guys started treating me with a little respect.
NASA has confirmed that December 21, late afternoon, the sky will be very dark. It is an interesting phenomenon called "night".
If a post is really good you will read it twice. if a post is really good you will read it twice.
Made the decision that I`m done having kids. Yet every morning I wake up and there they are asking me for breakfast.
What do I look for in a girl? Well she has to be hot. And well-rounded. And cheesy. Extra guac. Wait, wrong list, this is my Chipotle order.
I`m feeling 22.. Pounds overweight.
I need a bank to do two things for me: give me a loan and leave me alone